I'm a lazy date.

I used to worry about what I wore attracting attention. I bought myself a knife, to put in my boot, on my 20th birthday. I don't worry anymore.

Contour, contest, convict, constrict, convalesce, confirm, control, conflagration...

He called me a hipster - but little did he know that I'd merely forgotten how to dress myself respectably after the fifth grade.

Never understood the people who get dressed up to go drinking. Why bother? You're going to spill something on yourself eventually - or vomit something.